1. What To Send In First Message On Dating Site Video
2. What To Say In First Message On Dating Site

Dating sites confirm using one-word opening messages don’t work. OkCupid found if you write 'hey' women will ignore you 84% of the time. However, men fail to grasp this concept and instead continue to send horrible opening messages. There’s a better approach to creating the perfect first message to a girl. With online dating messages (especially a first message), she isn’t going to make that kind of commitment. So it’s important that you make the first message quick and easy to reply to. If you’re asking a question, it should be something that requires minimal thought on her end.

As the old saying goes, you only get one chance to make a first impression. This is especially true in the online dating world. Since your online dating first message sets the tone for the early part of your interaction, it can make or break your chances with a woman.

First Message Strategy 2: For instance if you find you both love dogs, you could send a message like this: First Message Strategy 3: Inspire A Craving Note: First Message Strategy 4: The example above is more funny for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short. These days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps, making a lasting first impression seems freaking impossible. So we asked 20 real women to divulge the perfect one-liners, questions, and messages they wish men would send on mobile apps or dating sites. Online Dating First Message #2: Last Thing. It’s deceivingly simple to ask the last thing your match did as your online dating first message, but it’s a super effective strategy. This is the kind of question a friend would ask, so you are starting things off intimately without coming off as creepy.

If you're new to online dating, communicating over text can seem like an intimidating thing to get used to. I’ve been there before and wish I had someone to give me some guidance and speed up that learning curve.

Today, you’re in luck because that’s exactly what I’ll be giving you in this article — a simple text formula for that first online dating message. As you get more comfortable with the process, you can start to brand out and experiment, but this will give you a solid starting point.

Also, if you're new to dating older women, check out our Top Cougar Dating Sites List where you can test out your new skills.

What Makes a Good Online Dating First Message

What we’re looking for here is a good balance between a canned response (too impersonal) and completely unique messages each time (too time-consuming).

To some degree, online dating is a numbers game and you don’t want these apps to become your full-time job. By using the formula we’re about to go over, you can minimize the time you spend on these first messages without copy/pasting lazy, generic intros.

When you can strike that balance, you’re going to get more engaged responses while also spending less time.

Read her profile

One great way to avoid sending generic lines in your first message is to slow down and take a moment to look at her profile. Get to know a little about her and what she’s interested in.

This step alone gives you a far better chance of getting a reply on your first message because you can tailor it to her.

Get in the habit of doing this now with our first message online dating formula. You'll get better results, and you can rest easy knowing you've done your homework.

Key things to look out for:

• Interests you two share
• Anything that you can potentially use to playfully tease her with, such as:
• Embarrassing stories
• Something in her pictures

Pay special attention to see if she includes her name anywhere. If she does, use that in your first message, too.

Include something from her profile in your first message

Now that you’re familiar with her profile, it’s time to put that info to good use. Attractive women get a lot of messages every single day. The good news for you and me is that most of them are lazy and generic — this is your opportunity to stand out.

You want something short that will immediately grab her interest. In most cases, this is best accomplished with a question—ideally one that ties into a common interest or hobby.

For example, maybe you noticed the woman's profile mentions her love of dancing—and that she's horrible at it. Your subject line could be:

“Dance lessons?”

This does three things:

1. It piques her interest by putting an open question out there.
2. You're already suggesting the possibility of a first date.
3. This shows you're confident enough to tease her a little bit.

By including something from her profile, you’re showing her that you actually paid attention and want to talk to her specifically. That you’re not just pasting the same message to 50 women today and hoping for the best. A crucial factor when you’re talking to girls online.

Pro tip - If she mentions her name in her profile, put it in the subject. In this case, 'Dance lessons, Jessica?' She is almost guaranteed to at least read your message—if only to find out if she actually knows you.

With a message like this, you attract her interest, show confidence, and push the interaction forward in one sentence. This sets you far apart from 99% of the guys dating online. This won't work on every single woman out there, but it will be effective on a large enough majority.

Follow up in the body (opening and closing)

If you asked her a question online in your subject line, follow it up with a related sentence. For example:

“I knew that would get your attention”

This sets a good tone for the rest of your message while adding a little humor for good measure. You can use this line to go straight into your next sentence.

This is where you want to continue connecting with her as well as telling her why you are messaging her. Use the information you learned from her profile to bring up some shared interests. For example:

“I read through your profile and we seem to share a love of adventure, the feel of sand in our toes, and the taste of an authentic French croissant.”

Try to include the senses involved in your shared interests. You want her to hear, smell, feel, taste, and see what you are talking about. Be careful to only include positive shared interests. You’re not going to get a response if you start off a message with negativity or sensitive subjects.

From here, you want to tell an engaging story tied to one of the interests you just mentioned. If one of your shared passions is scuba diving you could say:

“I just got back from a life-changing two-week scuba retreat in Belize. Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. I'd love to hear about any interesting or exciting adventures you've had.'

This serves dual purposes. In the first sentence, you’re showing that you’re an interesting guy that’s fun to be around. In the second, you’re painting the picture of a life she’d like to be part of. Now that you’ve demonstrated why you’re messaging her, you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked. For example:

“A little about me: I’m adventurous, ambitious, confident, and a challenge.”

This may sound a little like bragging (and it is). But it’s done in a confident way that’s more matter-of-fact than arrogant. Dating women requires confidence. When you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging women you will have better results.

Now you want to do a little more teasing. This is where you give a little and take a little. You’ll be confident and playful without being a total jerk. Start off with a small compliment then tease her about something else you saw in her profile. In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:

“I think we would have a lot of fun together even if you’re going to be mopey the whole night after I kick your butt in ping pong.”

Make sure that the way you tease and flirt with her online is very clean and can’t be misconstrued. It’s very easy to take a message the wrong way—even one that follows a first message online dating formula. At this stage, you don't get the benefit of seeing her reaction or body language when she reads your message. As such, it's important to be careful about the tone and content of your message. It may take a little practice to get it right.

Make it easy for her to respond

At some point or another, we’ve all been guilty of leaving the text message or email “for later” because it was difficult to respond to. Because you needed to sit down and take the time to answer the question.

With online dating messages (especially a first message), she isn’t going to make that kind of commitment. So it’s important that you make the first message quick and easy to reply to. If you’re asking a question, it should be something that requires minimal thought on her end.

Think “where was that beach photo taken? It looks familiar”, not “where do you see yourself in five years?”

Depending on your personality, most people will have great success just being open and easy to talk to as well. For example:

'We’re both on this site to meet someone great. I think it would be silly if we didn't talk at least once.'

This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest. She’s on that site to meet someone great—and it just might be you. Especially now that you’ve given her every reason to reply.

More confidence. If you can get her to take the big step of messaging you back, your odds have already increased tremendously.

Online Dating First Message Examples That Work

This first message online dating formula is very simple and customizable for any situation. When you put all of our examples together in an email format it looks like this:

Subject: Dance Lessons?

Body: I knew that would get your attention! I read through your profile and we seem to share a love of adventure, the feel of sand in our toes, and the taste of an authentic french croissant. I just got back from a life-changing two-week scuba retreat in Belize. Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. I'd love to hear about any interesting or exciting adventures you've had. A little about me: I’m adventurous, ambitious, confident, and a challenge. I think we would have a lot of fun together even if you are going to be mopey the whole night after I kick your butt in ping pong.

We’re both on this site to meet someone great and I think it would be foolish if we didn't talk at least once. Send me a message back now and I'll take it from there.

John

If you’re using smartphone apps like Tinder, Bumble or Hinge, you’ll want to keep it much shorter and to the point.

“Sarah! Your profile made me realize it’s been way too long since I got to travel. Been anywhere exciting this year?”

Pro tip: Timing is important. Message women when they are most likely to be online. If you see she was last online at 8:30 PM, message her tomorrow at 8:20 PM. If you can't see the time stamp, use the chart to the left. It’ll help you to better understand when women are more likely to be online. You want to be at the very top of her inbox when she logs in.

Your Turn: Try the First Message Online Dating Formula That Works

The first message is only one part of the online dating equation. For more tips, take a look at our eHarmony guide, Match.com Guide, and Cougar Life guides. They’ll help you learn how to best set up your profiles.

New to online dating? Take the time to find the best site for meeting older women with our Top Cougar Online Dating Site Review.

Happy Hunting!

I hope you enjoy reading this blog post.

If you want my team to just do your online dating for you, click here.

Tired of not getting responses to the messages you send on online dating sites and apps?

Whether it’s Match.com, OkCupid, POF, Tinder, or Hinge, sending that first message to a girl you really like and getting no response is one of the worst things about online dating.

Especially when it happens over and over.

That’s a big reason why many online daters give up entirely within just a few months.

But don’t throw in the towel just yet – we’ve got 11 online dating first message examples that work like magic to get responses, and you can use them today!

Not only will you get proven-to-work examples you can use right now, you’ll also get the online dating message tips you need to come up with your own unique conversation starters – and the best times to send them.

Just follow the expert advice in this short article and watch your inbox fill up with women who are excited to meet you in person!

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

Funny online dating messages get responses because women naturally find guys with a sense of humor attractive. It’s true – scientists have proven it.

But the key to having a successful first message, of course, is actually being funny.

On Tinder, you can pair an attention-grabbing GIF with a humorous message…

Message Example #1:

On a dating site like Match.com or POF, you could make a joke about the shared experience of scrolling through profile after profile…

Message Example #2:

Finding common ground is a pro move, because if you can make her think the two of you are similar she’s more likely to respond.

Women are simply more comfortable around people who remind them of themselves.

Which brings us to our next examples of opening lines…

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Travel makes an awesome subject for a first message because it’s something most women enjoy doing, or at least enjoy dreaming about.

Message Example #3:

And who doesn’t like to at least think they have a great sense of adventure? It's a topic you'll find mentioned in just about every person's profile.

Many online dating sites have keyword searches, so you can filter for women who also enjoy a certain hobby.

So if you’re into skiing, you can send a “stock” message about a certain topic to any interesting women who mention it in their profiles.

Message Example #4:

On a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, you can take a quick glance at her photos and bio to see if any common interests jump out.

For instance if you find you both love dogs, this would be a good first message for online dating…

Message Example #5:

You’ll save a ton of time once you have a “go-to” copy and paste message for any hobby that you’d like to share with your matches. (Skeptical about the effectiveness of copy & paste? Read this article.)

First Message Strategy #3: Inspire A Craving

Message Example #6:

(Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like Match, OkCupid or POF. You’re going to want to keep your messages quite a bit shorter on apps like Tinder and Bumble.)

Certain words are attention-grabbing because they sound delicious. Chocolate, cheesecake, ala mode… who wouldn’t want to keep reading?

Notice how it starts off with a light compliment.

Complimenting her will often give you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments.

Don’t make the rookie mistake of praising her physical appearance, especially when you're trying to start a conversation with a girl online for the first time.

Tons of guys do it, and she gets tons of messages with some variation of “you’re hot”. Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her.

Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, dating app Hinge discovered girls are 40% more likely to reply to messages about food.

Here’s a short, delicious sounding message that’s perfect for a dating app…

Message Example #7:

First Message Strategy #4: Get Personal

Message Example #8:

It’s basic human nature to love talking about yourself.

In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good.

Ask her an open-ended question that gets her to share something about herself, and she’s instantly in her Happy Place. And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number.

The example above is more suited for an online dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this…

Message Example #9:

First Message Strategy #5: Show Off Your Creative Side

Message Example #10:

Most of your competition is sending her lame first messages like “Hey, how was your weekend?” and “Hi, I’m John.”

That’s great news for you, because it gives you the opportunity to shine by asking her an interesting, funny or creative question like this…

Message Example #11:

So What Do All These First Messages Have In Common?

They all accomplish 3 things:

1. They instantly pique her curiosity. If she doesn’t even want to keep reading, why would she bother responding, much less want to meet you in person?
2. They set you apart from the crowd. Remember, if she’s getting tons of messages from guys just like you. You’ve got to out-message them every time.
3. They ask her a question. You need to make it as easy as possible for her to respond, and controlling the conversation is a simple way to do it.

Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener.

Miss one of them, and she’s moving on to the next person.

The Best Time To Send Your First Message

To increase your odds of getting a response to your message, send them at a time it’s likely to be convenient for her to answer.

Weekday evenings are generally the best time to send an online dating icebreaker. Many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix.

According to Nielsen, activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm.

And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use.

NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps.

In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. During winter storm Juno, activity on Hinge picked up by a whopping 47%, which led to a 56% spike in the number of phone numbers exchanged, and an incredible 96% increase in 2-way message exchanges.

On OkCupid, a little rain translates to a 10% increase in activity on the site. On Match, activity typically increases around 33% during snowstorms, and big storms go hand in hand with a 20-40% increase in Bumble activity.

Throw a pandemic into the mix, and there's never been a better time to download a dating app & start trying to meet someone special online.

No Response To Your First Message? Here’s What To Do Next!

Of course, there’s no copy and paste message that’s guaranteed to start a conversation every time you send it.

There are a ton of variables involved, like your photos and your online dating profile. If those aren’t top notch, our Ultimate Guide To Online Dating has all the tools and tips you need to bring them up to snuff.

Other variables you can’t control, like what she’s doing when she’s reading your message.

If she’s sneaking a peek at her Match messages in between meetings, she may not have a chance to respond and forget to come back to it later.

So if f you don’t get a response, give her a second chance.

Try a light-hearted follow up message like this one…

Second Message Example:

But if she still doesn’t bite, move on.

The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Besides, there’s plenty more interesting, attractive women out there so focus your efforts on them.

Why Savvy Guys Use Copy & Paste Messages

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: copy & paste messages.

A few online dating “experts” will tell you they don’t work. Online daters are too smart to fall for them. They’re a huge turn off.

Blah blah blah. Those guys clearly haven’t done their homework.

Here’s the truth in a nutshell.

Statistically speaking, you’re looking at an uphill battle.

The average guy has to crank out 114 messages in order to be 99% sure of getting one reply – and spend around 6.7 hours a week doing it.

Given that fact, why would you spend tons of time scanning each and every woman’s profile, then writing a message customized just for her?

That's crazy – you don't have that kind of time, especially when it's a numbers game. There’s a much better way to beat those odds, and boost your response rate at the same time.

Here at VIDA, we’ve been using the copy and paste approach since 2009.

Not only do copy and paste messages work, but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Our in-house data doesn’t lie.

Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well.

OkCupid’s Christian Rudder said using template messages not only saves you time in the short term, but they’re a more effective long-term strategy as well.

And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what?

You’ve gotten a response that you can turn into a conversation. And many intelligent daters recognize the wisdom of using them, like this woman who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:

When your first message is interesting and creative, the odds are good she’s going to reply to it.

Why? Because when you ask her a question that’s fun to think about and respond to, you’ve sparked an emotional connection.

That’s the reason you’re not getting good results (if any) with first messages like “Hey” and “Hi there”.

Where’s the fun in writing a response to that?

And even worse, you’ve put the burden of continuing the conversation on her, so coming up with a response is work for her.

The hotter she is, the more burdened with messages she gets, so she’ll only respond to the best messages in her inbox.

What To Send In First Message On Dating Site Video

Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull, assuming she's on a dating app just to hook up, or sounding just like every other guy who's messaged her that day.

Meet More High-Quality Women – Fast!

We’ve shared 11 first message examples that work brilliantly, but that’s only the beginning. You’ll be getting a ton of responses, which means you’ve got to keep the online dating conversation going and ask her out.

You have to keep her attention every step of the way, and build attraction with every message. Yup – there’s a reason so many guys complain that modern dating is exhausting.

You can skip all that stress, and go straight to the dates.

With VIDA, it’s really that easy. Our online dating experts handle your profile, your photo, and all that tedious back-and-forth messaging. All you do is show up for the dates! Click here to find out more.

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What To Say In First Message On Dating Site

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